"something"

Something is not right

Something is hurting inside...

Random things that I've learned from my Tatay

It was Sunday evening, 10:30 pm me and my ever loving (hehehe) siblings were chatting at the sala with the topic white christmas (because of the color theme of our Christmas tree), our tatay sat down with us and started to converse about the latest issues in our individual lives. We haven't done that for almost 3-4 weeks because of our busy schedule. Our conversations were happy and nice, then suddenly my evil sister Christine open the issue about last saturday night (When I was apparently super sleepy (translation for drunk) after the beer tower party from my co-worker's educational advancement). She literally turned on the Tatay's button. Now everyone wanted to escape and formulate their best idea on how to get out from our Sala.

To fast forward everything that we have talked about (2 hours), this is my summary of the random lessons that our Tatay shared to us:

1. Always assess your friends. Site the difference between a friend and a barkada..(And as I've assessed it, I know that I have true loving friends from my level up family. They protected  and keep me safe everytime we have our level up sessions)

2. Learn the Art of Refusal. (You cannot say Yes to everything, di sa lahat ng oras lumalaban! hehehe!)

3. It's okay to Level up but do it occassionally. (not weekly, not every other day, not everyday) ---Tapos na ang pangarap ko...hehehe!

4. Self-worth - Respect and love for one's self. It wasn't all about them, It should be more about you and how you could change them. :)

5. Every thing that you've accomplished and achieved will be worthless, once you've lost your dignity as a person. (this one hits me bigtime)
6. Great power comes with great responsibility and great roles to fulfill. "BE A ROLE MODEL TO YOUR SISTERS AND BROTHERS)

Maybe I didn't see it all. I was focused on the idea that it makes us happy, it allow us to escape from our personal, financial and workplace problems that we didn't look on its other consequences. 

At the end of the conversation, I say "thank you" to tatay. Thank you because, he admitted to us that he wasn't perfect, he's been doing that before and had already experienced the ups and downs of his own level up journey. Thank you for explaining to me the other side of my happiness. Thank you for allowing me to do it again this time with greater precautions and thank you for letting me appreciate my worth and dignity as a person and as his daughter. 

Things will not happen the same way again. I'll be more careful this time :)

Dahan-dahan para di masaktan

Di na muling luluha
Di na pipilitin pang ikaw ay aking ibigin
Hanggang sa walang hanggan

Di na makikinig ang isip ko'y lito
Malaman mo sanang ikaw ang iniibig ko

At kung hindi man para sa akin
Ang inalay mong pag-ibig
Ay di na rin aasa pa
Na muling mahahagkan

Dahan dahan mong bitawan
Puso kong di makalaban
Dahil minsan mong iniwan
Labis na nahihirapan
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/december_avenue/dahan.html ]
Di na papayag na ako'y iyong saktan na muli
At malimutan ang ating nakaraan
Di mo ba naririnig pintig ng aking dibdib?
Lumalayo na sa'yo ang damdamin ko

At kung hindi man para sa akin
Ang inalay mong pag-ibig
Ay di na rin aasa pa
Na muling mahahagkan

Dahan dahan mong bitawan
Puso kong di makalaban
Dahil minsan mong iniwan
Labis na nahihirapan

Dahan dahan mong bitawan
Puso kong di makalaban
Dahil minsan mong iniwan
Labis na nahihirapan...

:(

Huwag lang Ikaw

Kaya kong tumalon sa entablado sa harap ng maraming tao, wag lang ikaw.

Kaya kong sabihin sa lahat ng tao na ako’y sira ulo wag lang ikaw.

Kaya kong sabihin na ako’y demonyo at ang dala’y delubyo, wag lang ikaw.

Kaya kong talunin pinakamataas na establishimento, wag lang ikaw.

Kaya kong kunin lahat ng sakit ng mundo, at mamatay dito. Wag lang ikaw.

Mahal kasi kita, di ka pwedeng mapahiya.

Mahal kasi kita kaya pinoprotektahan kita.

Mahal kasi kita, di ka pwedeng masaktan

 Mahal kasi kita, di ka pwedeng mawala. :)

My future starts here :)

              It was November 2008 when I was dragged into the academe without any clues on how to become a good teacher. I am a “neophyte in the jungle” as I may describe it.  Before I am more on being a nurse and less being a teacher, now things have really changed.

                As I try to follow the dots, I was scanning my old journal when I remember me saying:

                PLAN A – Finish MAN and teach nursing ---------------- d o n e!!!!

                PLAN B – Go abroad L

                PLAN C – Study medicine

                Done with Plan A. “Unsatisfactory” is not the correct term for it, but still wasn’t fulfilled of it yet. A part of me was still seeking something that I cannot explain, it wasn’t about the money. It wasn’t about the prestige. I don’t know; still searching bout something that makes me jump into my other “hopefully”  successful plan.

                PLAN B – feasible, and attainable but does being away from my love ones will make me feel happy inside? I don’t think so. I still wanted to prove to my beloved professor Dra. Ochoco, Philippines is a country worth staying for.

                PLAN C – now everybody wanted me to do it…J note to self: assess and evaluate, define your goal, and follow the plan of the lord..sana dumating na ang sign J

  Believing that everything falls into god’s perfect plans.

          "may PLANO si LORD"                                                                                                                                                                    Love Chen Go 

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no - one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

"I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong"
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/adele/make_you_feel_my_love.html ]
I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love, To make you feel my love

Confusion conclusions

‎"i am convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that i loved what i did. you've got to find what you love. and that is as true for work, as it is for your lovers." - Steve Jobs


An inspirational quote that influenced my works in my research paper and my life.


Finding what you LOVE:


For Work: The power to influence and inspire other people is the one that I loved. The ability to move other people's lives. Be inspired by the things that you already did, and just by stating that they are molding the same dreams as yours are things that I do love. I wanted to share..I wanted to help..I wanted to be the difference..Sharks..Gusto ko talagang magdoctor!!!!!!!! My father wanted me to, my mother was planning to build my own clinic near our house. But I am scared. Scared that I may not able to do it. Scared that I will start again, like building a new house, like restarting your career, Scared that I may waste the time that i will be spending for studying and learning the science of medicine....haay ano bang dapat gawin....:(


For Love : It will always a battle of the heart and mind. The heart always embrace happiness, and the mind always remind you of the consequences. Nakakabaliw.